I have been having a high temperature for two weeks
and I can barely get out of bed
or the couch.
The doctor gave it a complicated name
and then said “kissing disease, let’s wait for your temperature to go down”…
to my wife he said that there is no point to commit me to the hospital, nothing to do…
“Drink a lot and take antipyretics.”
When checking my neck he diagnosed enlarged lymph nodes and spleen, “the disgusting cough is part of the deal”, he said. And Dr. Noam, my AKBAN partner, said the same and added that I should watch my liver… he usually suggests that I’ll guard my head…
So for two weeks I did not move, didn’t move at all.
I don’t remember such a state, not at the Lebanon war when I was buried in a bunker waiting for the Syrian artillery, not when I had my appendix removed, not when in randori my nose decided to watch the left side of my face closer, not when the board of directors fired me from my own company and I slouched for months.
Just did not happen.
So now a first time, can not move at all.
At evening time, yesterday, I started to train. It was a conscious decision out of the clarity of a high temperature. If one does not remember, the world looks like a hazy desert heat wave. The heat rises from the rocks, and rises and rises and then very quickly you find the puddle of the mirage.
So I took two pills knowing that the shivering and the puddle will follow soon.
This was one of the toughest training sessions. I do not want to compare it to anything but it was tough, very tough.
I took my socks off and stood in Shizen tai.
The most fundamental stance. I looked forward and placed my attention forward.
I breathed three times and started coughing real bad.
I lay down again.
It was a good training session.
I did not manage to do one Tsuki, not one sabaki, no intricate kata.
This was Heart Sutra practice.
The mother of all victories.